Thursday, March 21, 2013

Busy Addiction

I'm so busy all the time.....
I'm sorry I can't help you, I'm so busy.....
I've been so busy I haven't had time to do......
I never have time to see anyone, or do anything, because I am so freaking busy.........
I'm glad SOMEONE has time to do fun things, I never get to because I'm so busy......

Can I just share something with you???

EVERYONE is busy!!!! Should I say it again? EVERYONE is busy and they don't need to hear how busy YOU are.
It's an addiction. You may not believe it, but it is. 

You use "busy" as an excuse for everything you can't do, forget to do, don't want to do, or wish you could do.

And.....when you use this crutch in a conversation, without intention you are communicating to the other person that it's all about you and that YOU are in fact more busy than they are or that they must not be as busy as you or they wouldn't have time to do all the things they are doing.

According to Wikipedia, the definition of addiction is:

"...the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse dependency consequences,or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors."

It goes on to say that this includes compulsions:

"Sometimes the compulsion is not to "do" something but to avoid or "do nothing" e.g. procrastination (compulsive task avoidance)."

The first step in a twelve step group is to "admit" that there is an issue. The steps also insist that you continue to engage in personal inventory. So, that's what I'm asking you to do for the benefit of everyone in your circle and to get you off the merry go round!

  1. Listen to yourself and become aware of just how often you use a statement that includes "I'm busy".
  2. If you find that you are using it frequently as an excuse, then......
  3. First admit you have a problem.
  4. Next, believe that you are strong enough to stop the cycle and eliminate those two words from your vernacular.
  5. Continue to take personal inventory and adjust when you fall back into the old pattern.
Try very hard to stick to the facts of the situation and communicate accordingly. It's about accountability and not taking the easy way out. It takes a little more effort, but it's honest. I'm not recommending you hurt people if it's a case of just not wanting to do something, but you can certainly try these:

"Gosh, I would love to, but I have something on the calendar."
"You know what, I thought I had prioritized appropriately, but it turns out I didn't and now I'm going to make every effort to get it done."
"That is something I would really love to do, I have to stop and take the time to put it in my schedule."

You get the drift!

Of course you really ARE busy, but no one wants to hear about it because so are they and frankly, you don't really want to hear how busy everyone else is when you run into someone who has the same addiction!

Breathe deeply, let it go and just respond honestly and simply, without the "busy" crutch. It's the best thing for everyone!  And, if all else fails, you COULD start a support group, because I can assure you that you are NOT alone is this!!! :)


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Shamrocks and Endless Knots

I don't know about you, but one of the first signs of spring for me is the appearance of shamrocks. Not the cutesy, campy ones accompanied by the ubiquitous leprechaun, but the actual plant showing up on the shelves at the grocery or home store. The minute I see one, I buy it and bring it home and watch its patterns. The nature of Oxalis, is this:

It loves light.
It closes its flowers and leaves at night and they reopen in the sunlight.
It grows toward the light.
It goes in and out of dormancy.

Hmmmmm.....a fascinating connection to life, don't ya think??

For this one period of time each year we are drawn to all things Irish or resembling Irish, whether that is our heritage or not. And of course, leave it to Americans to turn St. Pat's, which is actually a Holy day in the church, into an opportunity to spend money, drink heavily and host a festival!

But.......just but, if we go into it at another layer there are oh so many wonderful things to be reminded of during this "green" Irish celebration.

Although there isn't a lot documented about Celtic knots, they begin appearing around 450 AD, in a pre-Christian Ireland. This artwork is a series of knots with seemingly no beginning and no end. The Celts living during this time were very, very driven by nature and its patterns and indications. The knots seem to provide a visual representation of those concepts:

The endless cycle of birth and death.
The timeless nature of our spirit.
The endless change of the seasons.

If you look at life, your life, it is an endless cycle of beginnings and endings. Something new ends something old. We grow, we change. Our past becomes our story, but we live in endless beginnings. The seasons help us reflect on our change. Just like the Oxalis, we thrive most in the light, we lean into it, we open up to it, but occasionally when it is time for change to occur, we will fold in and lie dormant until the sun shines again and opens up a new beginning.

So, on this St. Pat's day.........

May you live in the light.
May you recognize change as a new beginning.
May you fall back and reflect in dormancy until the light draws you to new beginnings.
May you embrace the ebb and flow of life in its endless motion.
"May the blessing of light be on you—
light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you
and warm your heart
till it glows like a great peat fire." (An old Celtic Blessing)

Monday, March 11, 2013

What Are You Waiting For??

So you know the story, or maybe you don't. Two men meet beside a tree, both waiting for a mysterious man named Godot. They talk, they wait, they walk around, they lie down, they exchange hats, they wait, along comes a boy who tells them Godot isn't coming. They leave and come back the next evening to the same spot and the same scenario ensues. We don't know who Godot is, they don't really know, the audience doesn't know. They wait, WE wait and well.......freaking Godot NEVER comes. And frankly, we leave the theater not really sure we understand what the hell it was all about.

Does that describe you? Are you meeting the same people every day, doing the same things, saying the same things, thinking the same things all the while waiting for something that NEVER comes. Are you coming back to the same scenario and repeating it over and over again and still whatever you are waiting for never comes.
Waiting is MADNESS..........STOP IT!

The phrase "waiting for Godot" has gone into the vernacular to describe waiting for something that either hasn't or isn't going to come. Remember Einstein's definition of insanity......."doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

There are many reasons we wait:
1. maybe what we want to happen will JUST happen
2. maybe if we wait it will be easier to make it happen
3. maybe if we wait, someone ELSE will make it happen for us
4. maybe we are wrong and we really don't want it to happen at all

The waiting is a crutch that allows us to remain, in stasis, in the event that what we think we want so badly will occur. The waiting is a cover for fear. What if we got it and didn't want it? What if it is the wrong thing? What if the risk isn't worth the reward? What if, what if, what if.......

Shake it off!! Do whatever needs to be done TODAY. Waiting is for sissies!!

1.  If it's worth having, then a little risk is a very small thing.
2.  Waiting is a waste of time. Time that you WILL NOT get back.
3.  If you move on it and you get it and you decide it's not the right thing, so what. NEXT.....
4.  If you get a few emotional bumps and bruises along the way, it just makes you tougher!

There are multiple benefits to be gained by pushing yourself beyond the fear. Each time you do, it becomes easier the next time. You build confidence and you begin to realize that you are bigger than the fear. You get a little angry with yourself for wasting so much precious time and you become less likely to waste that time again.

And so, as Lewis Carroll suggests, "The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings." Or.....

The time has come to make it happen today and stop waiting for Godot!

Peace and Hugs!